Life Lately : Adulting & All That

Happy New Year everyone!!!

I completely zoned out during the month of December, yeah, I know! But I'm here to make up for that. December is definitely the busiest time of the year - with reunions and parties to attend to and transitions we have to prepare for, it made me a bit sad that I haven't really posted anything on this blog for the entire month! Work has gotten a bit crazier as well, and honestly it's taking a toll on my health again.

So, let's start this year with an update about my life, yo!

One thing that I was really proud of scratching out of my to-do list was renewing my passport. I got my first passport way back 2013, just a few months before I decided to leave my country to try my luck working abroad. Back then, I didn't even know that I would be working in China because I was actually aiming for South Korea. My passport expired last April 2018, but since I was a bit busy with other adulting sheez that time, I kept pushing it to the bottom of my to-do list. Two months before 2018 ended, I kinda had a wake-up call (it's really more like a nagging feeling, yo!) and I have no idea what's gotten into me but all of a sudden, I just had the urge to schedule an appointment with DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs). I've been trying to book an appointment for quite some time now, but I can never make it through the entire process. There's just way too many Filipinos booking appointments as well. So, when my application made it through the last step, I got so stoked that I used my break time from work to pay for my passport application. 

I went back to DFA last January 17th to pick up my new passport though I was still under the weather that day. I don't trust couriers that much and since I'm not always at my dorm to receive parcels, I figured it might be better if I just go and get it myself on its releasing date. And voila! We'll see where this new passport will take me! I'm really happy that this new one is good for the next 10 years. 

One thing that I'm not quite happy with about my life lately is the fact that I am starting to get sick quite often again. I've been missing days at work due to my health issues and we all know that's not a very good sign. To those who have been reading my blog since I started this way back 2012, you know that the moment work stuff gets to me, I tend to do whatever it takes to find my way back to my happy-state-of-mind, even if that means dropping everything I've worked so hard to get. I just can't prioritize anything above my happiness. I'm trying my best to get stronger - physically and mentally, and I'm proud of my tiny progress but there are just days when I can't even get off the bed - literally! 

Not too long ago, I went to see a doctor because I had a weird blood clot in my left eye that doesn't hurt at all but it certainly bothered me, so I had to use my day off to find out what's going on. I hate going to doctors' offices and talking like a responsible adult, so you can just imagine how pissed off I was that time. I've been craving for some quiet time so I can actually think about a new content for this blog and maybe something to send to Thought Catalog, but the side trip to the doctor killed it. I also need to recharge from my meet-ups last month. I know that I don't go out that often and I don't really intend to because the greatest perk of being an introvert is that we tend to get really drained from a simple useless conversation. Do you understand how hard it is for an introvert to talk for a living? Welcome to my life, yo! 

Anyway, the doctor told me that the blood clot in my eye could be a sign of hypertension or it could be due to lifting heavy objects. I admitted that I do lift weights sometimes as part of my training for Muay Thai, so the doctor said I should stop that for a while until we can rule it out and I was asked to monitor my blood pressure as well. So, I did, but just for a few days. In a nutshell, I had to cut back on caffeine because my blood pressure's gone through the roof and though I know I need to see a cardiologist soon, I'm still trying to procrastinate here and basically just crossing my fingers and hoping that it would normalize on its own. Very mature, I know! But seriously, I've been having crazy palpitations since the second half of 2018, I have already had an ECG then but I just can't find time (and patience!) to visit a different clinic or hospital to get a second opinion about the result.

The other time I went to see a doctor was when I caught a flu. That was just top notch, you know? Living alone and convincing yourself that you're an independent woman while you are getting delirious from a fever was just something I've never imagined while I was growing up with my grandparents. I never knew that one day, they won't be physically there to pamper me and give me all my comfort food while I'm whining and all that. I'm still not completely out of the woods but I'm done taking my medications at this point. There's also one thing that really hit me that last time I got sick for about a week - I really can't start a family and raise kids anytime soon because I got my hands full taking care of my inner child, yo! 

Speaking of inner child, I've been trying to get my hands busy with a few sketches and paintings here and there. It's the only I way I can find peace and balance in my life these days. I've been sketching mostly anime characters ever since I was in high school, but I only started painting shortly after my Grandpa's death as a way to cope with my depression. I started painting floral wreaths hoping that Grandpa can see them from wherever he is right now. Lately, I've been trying to paint landscape views as well. I can't tell you how much it helps me to calm down after a stressful day at work. Painting is definitely a great alternative to my binge-eating and shopping therapy. I really appreciate it when people send me messages or write comments when I post my artworks on my Instagram page and Facebook. I encourage everyone to try it out at least once and see its therapeutic effects! 

I've also been paying visits to the city quite close to where I'm living. My sister and my college best friend recently moved there and it's kind of a mini-escape from my reality every time I visit them. I actually considered taking a job there before I applied at my current job, however, since it's not quite accessible from my dorm during the weird times of the day, I decided not to take it.  

I enjoy walking around that city and there's just way too many restaurants that I'd like to try. I really love the vibe it gives off; you wouldn't see or feel the typical Manila streets with the crazy smog, overwhelming crowd, dirty puddles, dreadful noise and by-standers cat-calling every single person they see. Although at my sister's new apartment, there's just a small portion leading to their place that's a bit shady in certain hours of the day, generally it's still decent. 

I just uploaded a vlog on my YouTube channel featuring the condotel where we stayed at last Christmas. All clips were taken from that city. If you have some time, please check that out as well so you can hear me rant and blabber on camera! Haha! 

This photo above was taken at the city where I'm currently living. In all fairness, this place is not as bad as the other parts of Manila. This is almost comparable to New York since this is one of the business districts here in the Philippines. I first moved here way back in 2011, just right before I created this blog. I lived in different parts of Manila with my parents and relatives for a few years during my grade school years and when I was still in university. 

I've lived in different dorms around here. No, I don't rent my own apartment. A bed space is all I can afford at this point in my life and I'm really not down for shelling out an assload of my hard-earned cash to buy my own place. I kinda have a bad rap for not having a permanent address, but I couldn't care less. I'm just not into settling down, finding that solid place where I can grow old and rot kinda phase yet. Right now, I'm happy and contented paying my bills on time to make sure I'd have a roof above my head. I like the fact that I know places within reach where I can shop and eat anytime I want, and I am pacified because there's a place I go to where I can do what I do best and get paid for it. Though adulting is kinda hard at times, I'm still glad that I am not being a burden to anyone. I am starting to understand what 'getting your own shit together' really means. Yes, I still ask for help from people from time to time but I make sure to extend my gratitude to them and pay them back with whatever I can. I try my best to live within my means but I also don't keep myself unhappy and bitter by not giving into some of my whims. I've learned how to sort my priorities and though some of my highest priorities may sound hilarious or a total bullshit to others, I've learned not to listen to what they have to say. It's totally up to me how I'd live my life and what changes am I supposed to do with my life. 

And speaking of changes, I've been reading and watching YouTube videos about this Japanese concept that can magically transform your life. I'm talking about the KonMari method by Marie Kondo - that famous organizational guru that's been changing the lives of many people through tidying. Japan has been taking over my life in so many ways these days, I know! And that's not a bad thing I guess. So, for the last update about my life, I am doing a PART 2 of my minimalist lifestyle. I started to embrace the minimalist lifestyle way back in 2016 but I was only able to apply that on my wardrobe, I guess. This time, I really am going to downsize and declutter as much as I could, as often as I could. No more hoarding and mindless shopping. I have to stick with the basics and take only the things that spark joy in my life. All the rest will be discarded or donated! 

I started doing that recently, and I'm happy and satisfied with what I have discarded and kept so far. It feels so freeing you guys and I can't wait to do more of that! I definitely need to work on my documents next though it's kinda daunting. I recently bought organizers/boxes from Daiso so I can sort out my stuff. I'll tell you more about this KonMari method on a different post. Right now, I just gotta sign off and say THANK YOU SO MUCH for always making time to read and listen to my rants and shenanigans! If you're like me and you're going through that awkward phase of adulting, know that my heart goes out to you and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone in this thing. 

If you need to blow off some steam, please, use the comments' section below and we'll rant and laugh about this thing together! I'd love to hear from you!