Turning 30 Is Not That Scary!

Four months after hitting that big 3-0, I have yet another confession to make...

TURNING THIRTY IS NOT THAT SCARY!

During my teenage years, hell, even during my 20's, I've always been dreading the day I'll turn thirty. Why? Because the society tells me so! (And basically because of the responsibilities that would come with it.) You know, wherever you are in the world, I'm pretty sure you'd hear something like "When are you gonna get married?" or "Are you planning on settling down at all?" They always have something to say about that controversial biological clock and that if you miss those amazing years you are doomed forever and you will automatically be demoted to the lowest rank in the society. It is as if you did not fulfill your MAIN purpose in life. Hear what I'm saying? I thought living in the modern world would mean we're done with the sexist mentality. Turns out, not so much. 

But you know what? I want you to know that there is SO much more than that. Ladies (and gentlemen!), there is so much more to life than catching up with the society's standard of living a good life once you hit your thirties. Yes! There are other things that you should be grateful for even if you're not wearing an engagement or wedding ring just yet.

I wanna share with you guys the reasons I'm digging this point of my life.

#1 People start taking you seriously

All I really want was to find my voice. I want to be heard. I want people to listen to what I'm saying especially when I'm dead serious. But unfortunately, when you're young, you are somehow denied of that privilege. I am happy for young people who were able to find their voices at a young age and have the ability to make a huge impact in the world or at least around the area where they live. However, most of them are celebrities, kids of politicians, future politicians, valedictorians or activists. I have nothing against these people! It's just that, for average people, that's not how it works. You have to reach a certain age wherein people would actually take you seriously. I am starting to experience that now that I am thirty. 

I blame my height for looking like a high school student, but these days, every time I tell people that I am THIRTY, there's a certain change in their tone of voice or manner of speaking and I shit you not but sometimes it is even accompanied by a few steps back. It would usually come as a shock to almost everyone, but the few steps back, as if I just told them I got leprosy, that's in a way incredible. All of a sudden, they are all ears. All of a sudden, your words become something they must hear. The best experience so far was when I recently reported a horrible incident at the police station. I'll tell you the details about that in a different post, but all I can say for now is that I still couldn't believe what I just did there that day. Me!? Talking to police officers!? About something serious!? I don't even talk to some of the girls in my dormitory!

Anyway, you get the picture.

This is the time and age when you can actually say something and people can't simply brush you off because they know that this age comes with greater experience compared to your 20's. They automatically know that this age usually comes with a degree and probably a license or two. They know that they can't simply mess with you. And that is in a way, empowering!

#2 You get smarter and stronger

It doesn't matter if it's about love or career, once you reach your thirties, it's almost impossible not to become smarter and stronger. I'm not talking about being the best in the world (though there's nothing wrong with that either), but I mean you would eventually realize that you are smarter and stronger than your old self. You'll finally learn the lessons that you've been trying to ignore in your younger years. You'll make more mistakes BUT you'll bounce back faster and higher than ever. You'll finally find your way around the vicious cycle and you'll find a way to gracefully deal with things that used to make you lose your shit. You start to think rationally, casting aside your temporary mood swings or vendettas, like a normal functioning adult almost on a regular basis. You would know who deserves a second chance, why you're having second-thoughts or when to give a second-look. Age really comes with wisdom!

#3 You start to like responsibilities

This is another shocking thing about turning thirty - you actually start to take responsibilities seriously! All of a sudden, being cool, hanging out with as many people as you can, taking tequila shots and obsessively posting party photos on social media is no longer fun. This time, it is more important for you to hang out with a few trusted friends over coffee or tea and you only take photos of shits that actually matter to you. You would eventually find yourself spending less time on virtual reality and actually LIVE your life. Yes! You won't feel like posting every little thing anymore. There would be more important things in life and you would start to shift your focus on them. Though you used to hate the thought of it, you'd start taking more responsibilities at work, in your community and even around your home because for the first time ever, you'd get that sense of fulfillment (not instant gratification!). All of a sudden, it feels great to help and to receive compliments or recognition. Authentic gratitude actually fills up your soul and you crave more of that so you keep on taking bigger responsibilities. You'd realize that it feels good when people trust you. Around this time and age, you'd actually feel like you matter!

#4 You would want to be healthy, not skinny

Gone are the days when you'd fit into super tight jeans and extra small tees and you're fine with that. During your transition from teenage years to early adulthood, that was still kind of a big deal, right? But once you hit your thirties, your insecurities would gradually fade. You would finally accept and become more confident with your figure and your flaws. All of a sudden, eating healthy is no longer about seeing the number on the scales, it's more about living a long and healthy life for yourself and for your loved ones. You would want to be physically fit not to impress anyone, but basically to feel strong and to gain more energy so you can take on more tasks. Being healthy is no longer associated with vanity. You simply want to feel better and hopefully live longer!

#5 You'll have a smaller circle of friends

It would be easier for you to tell if someone is your friend or foe. You are no longer interested in trying to fit in so you won't end up sitting alone during lunch. You're done pleasing everyone. During this stage, you no longer have time for small talks, fake smiles and temporary relationships. You have spent many years filtering and sorting out people who understand you. You have already found your tribe. Those friends who made it to your thirties would probably be with you for the rest of your life. You and your friends have probably been through or at least talked about some serious topics like resignation, relocation, past life regression, terminal diseases, parenthood, death, depression or other life-changing decisions. You can't simply talk about these things with strangers or people you met recently. If you have people in your life whom you can talk to about these things without judgment, congratulations! These people are all you need, focus your energy on them! Learn from each other's mistakes and help each other grow!

#6 You'll experience internal growth 

Speaking of growing, as you hit your thirties, I think this is that crucial time wherein you will experience internal growth. It's not quite easy for other people to see this from the outside, but you will notice how your attitude changes for the better. You will learn how to control your temper. You will also become a bit more open to looking at things from different perspectives. You will start to unlearn things that are obsolete and hone new skills or maybe tap into talents that are hidden deep within you. You might start hearing people say "You've changed!" and you'd take it as a compliment, because that is exactly the point of living - to evolve, to change! I can't remember where I've heard or read this but it totally makes sense "You can't have roots and wings at the same time".

This is the point in your life wherein you would be motivated to take your pick - roots or wings? What would you like to do? Maybe you still won't have a firm answer but the fact that it got you thinking is already a huge step. Once you find yourself detaching from things that don't really matter, once you find yourself mapping out your future, that's when you're about to reach maturity! And it's awesome!

To any one who is dreading this age like I used to, hear me out, it's NOT that scary! You still have the same number of hours in a day. You can still be yourself, but an upgraded version that your teenage self would definitely be proud of. Isn't that great?!